The Unexpected Dinner Guest - When grief drops in

The Unexpected Dinner Guest - When grief drops in


You know that moment when grief taps you on the shoulder and asks to join you for dinner? You feel a bit shocked; you haven’t prepared enough food to cater for such an unexpected visitor. We all get that right?


We are aware, that grief doesn’t up and disappear but sometimes when we least expect it, it pops in and stays for a while. For what feels like the most obscure of reasons. When we are minding our own business, doing the washing, or driving to work. A friendly reminder that we are human, that we feel and that it’s ok to not always have it together.


Last week, my grief paid a visit, and I didn’t realise it at the time. Someone I don’t know, lost a friend that I had never met. Someone else lost someone they love, and my mind went to their family, their friends and them in that moment. How someone who seemed so vibrant could be so lost. I felt such sadness for the loss of a woman I had never met. Was it grief, was it empathy, or was it both?


I shared once that I was inconsolable when my cat passed away and was so unsure why it affected me so much. Sure, I loved the cat, but this much? Then I was reminded of a very soothing analogy. Grief is like filling up a backpack, you throw in some breakups, a loss, that time you lost your favourite earrings and then the cat. Well, for me, she just tipped it right over and I couldn’t carry it anymore.


This is your friendly reminder, to check in with yourself, with those you love. You never know when an unexpected dinner guest will pay a visit.



Sarz Sanctuary was founded by Julie & Mark Wallace, who have pro-actively sought out healing from their own personal trauma; seeking out practitioners, and a wide variety of modalities throughout the world to find peace and purpose in their lives.
Julie & Mark established Sarz Sanctuary in honour of their daughter Sara Zelenak who was murdered in the London Bridge and Borough Markets terror attack, 2017. To find meaningful purpose they now devote their lives to helping others who suffer traumatic grief, loss, ptsd and secondary trauma to navigate their own personal grief journey.
Sarz Sanctuary brings together liked-experienced people to support, connect and collaborate through the safe and moderated community forum. Sarz Sanctuary offers a safe place to fall, to rest, to share, to chat, to learn skills to survive, and to start to heal. A community that provides compassion and acceptance. A community of people who understand because they are living it too.
Supporting our community are credentialed healing practitioner’s expert in traumatic grief, loss, ptsd and secondary trauma.  Our practitioners host resources such as articles, blogs, webinars, podcasts and courses to help guide those seeking help to heal.
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Relationships Australia can assist with courses, practitioner’s and more
Valuable courses for employees and those wanting to broaden their understanding of vicarious grief and trauma
Doris Zagdanski is a well known author, educator, and trainer in the field of empathy and grief awareness.
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